Romanticide
by x-EliteAssassin-x
Summary: Because despite what their parents thought, moving wasn't on the agenda for Deidara or Naruto. SasoDei, MadDei, SasuNaru, GaaNaru. Love triangles ahoy!


June: This is dedicated to the wonderful people who helped me get through the hard time I had transferring into a new school, basically, they pwn. This story was written from my own experiences and also inspired by the wonderful 'Almost Sucks' by 'Mashiro'.

_Disclaimer: I don't own, if I did then Madara would be the main character._

**Dedication: To Recalcitrant, Rineko-chan and Pain au Chocolat. Because you guys make me smile after every hectic day.**

WARNING: CONTAINS HEAVY SWEARING!

* * *

God hated Deidara.

It was all clear now, God fucking despised Deidara, and right now, the feeling was damn mutual.

What!? And he asked this with an open mind. What on Earth had possessed their parents to move house for the fucking seventh time!? A fucking big move too! The past four moves had just been to a different street in the same damn city, now though... Now, their family was moving to an area that was a two hour drive from their old city, an hour on the train and nowhere near his old school.

It was annoying, depressing and fucking unnecessary!

Grunting his disapproval out loud, Deidara reached into his pocket and pulled out a small cardboard box, flipping the lid open, he gently tapped the bottom and pushed a stick up. Gripping the stick gently between his lips, he pulled it out and put the box back in his pocket and pulled out a lighter at the same time. It took a few tries but he managed to get a flame started, lighting the cancer stick he inhaled and filled his lungs with smoke.

"DEIDARA! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SMOKING IN THE CAR!? YOU COULD GIVE US SECOND HAND SMOKING!" His mother shrieked, her hands covering her mouth whilst her red nails pinched her nose. Deidara's father was swerving the car dangerously as he hurriedly tried to open a window, it was a good thing the road was clear otherwise they would have been severely fucked.

"Fuck you, un." Deidara muttered, taking another drag of the cigarette.

Deidara suddenly found himself jerking forward as their father braked heavily.

"The fuck, un!?" Deidara yelled, shifting so his seat belt was no longer strangling him.

"You will no longer use that kind of language!" Deidara's father bellowed, "We are your parents and we demand some respect! This is exactly why we're moving _away_ from the city!"

Deidara's dark blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "So _that's _why. Well then, turn the car around, I'll stop swearing if you'll just take us home!" Deidara hissed, a small whimper of agreement accompanied his statement and Deidara's eyes quickly followed the sound and found his little brother, curled up on the back seat next to him, his arms hugging his knees in a childish manner.

Deidara felt his anger slowly melt away as he looked at his brother, after all, if anyone had the right to be angry it was Naruto. His younger brother was practically angelic and just gotten together with his first love, and whilst his parents were disappointed it was a _guy _they knew he was very happy. However, they didn't care about that happiness when they decided to take their two sons to some fucking place in the middle of fucking nowhere!

Deidara scowled and took another drag of his cancer stick, fucking parents, he would never forgive them. Neither he nor Naruto would be happy in this new place. Another whimper sounded from his younger brother, and with an exaggerated sigh, Deidara reached across and threaded his fingers through his brother's blonde hair as he massaged the scalp.

Naruto calmed down at the elder blonde's actions and his sobs whittled away into snivels, he leaned into the comforting touch and was reminded of how his brother would comfort him exactly like this when he got bullied, back when he was younger and when they lived in the bad part of town. His hands clenched at the fabric of his jeans as a thought struck him; Would he be going back to that kind of misery?

Both boys were lost in their own thoughts, each despising the move, their parents and every fucking thing on this earth for just existing.

Stupid existence.

Time passed and the car ride stretched on in uncomfortable silence, Deidara tutting with his tongue as he surveyed their surroundings, Naruto sniffling away as he thought about his left behind boyfriend, and their parents ignoring their sons in favour of concentrating on finding their way to their new home.

It was just getting dark when they finally pulled into their new town, it wasn't a big town and was connected to a small village - which had recently won the title of 'Best Village in the Country'. Deidara scowled as he took in the view of fields, greenery and woods. It wasn't the country, but it wasn't the city either and just by looking around he could tell what a good neighbourhood they were living in.

They passed a primary school and Deidara felt like swearing profusely at the small size of it, this town either had an obnoxiously high death rate or there weren't that many people living here, he was naturally inclined to believe the latter, but seeing he was in a foul mood, he much preferred to believe the first.

"Oh look!" Kushina squealed, her eyes glittering as she took in the little village shops they were driving by, "So this is The Parade..." She murmured, looking at the parade of shops that was practically designed to be heaven for every house wife.

Further down they drove, and finally the came to the little crescent of road that they would be living on. A nursery was just down the road, and so the crescent was filled with families. As the car pulled up Deidara groaned at the sight of perfectly manicured gardens on either side of him, the well cut green lawns were covered in ornaments and flowers were blooming in the flower beds... He was very tempted to trample all over it.

The boys' Mother and Father quickly hopped out the car, smiles on both their faces as they looked at their new home. "Deidara, Naruto, get out of the car and come look at our new home!" His mother called, her voice expectant and impatient.

Muttering and swearing under his breath, Deidara kicked his way out of the car and shoved his hand in his pockets. Glancing briefly at his new home, he sat on the floor and screamed. "I HATE IT! I HATE YOU AND I WANT TO GO BACK, UN!" His mother looked horrified at his performance, and it served her right he thought, she made them unhappy and now she would be shown up.

Long, painted red nails grasped his arm. Furious green eyes glared into his. "Get in the house now, I will not put up with this behaviour." His mother hissed, her long red hair seemingly whirling around her in all her fury.

"Screw you, un!" Deidara replied, tugging his arm free, grabbing the key from his dad and storming into their new home. Seconds later a car door could be heard slamming, and his brother ran into the house, tears streaming down his face. The younger blonde launched himself at his brother as he sobbed, Deidara wrapped his arms around Naruto and murmured comforting words into his ear, promises of returning home very soon.

When his mother and father entered, they looked at the pair and their fury evaporated.

"I hope you're happy..." Deidara muttered, his eyes narrowed in a furious glare. "I hope you're really fucking proud that you've torn your son away from the person he was in _love _with." Naruto began to sob and wail even louder at the mention of his lover.

His parents at least had the decency to look guilty, his mother gulped and took a deep breath before speaking again. "The movers have already moved everything and arranged it as I asked... Tell me if it's all done properly..." She said, her hand waving to indicate upstairs where their rooms were.

Deidara snorted, "Whatever..." and he grabbed Naruto's hand and dragged him upstairs to see their new rooms.

The house was a simple layout, an entrance hall, one downstairs toilet by the door, along with a closet and boiler room. The kitchen was facing the front and was open planned, as was the lounge and dining room which were linked onto it. There was a bedroom on the first floor, where Kushina and Minato would sleep, they had decided to give the boys the whole of the top floor as a slight apology. On the top floor there was another bathroom, Deidara's room, Naruto's room and a study.

Naruto had gotten the smaller room, and most of it was covered with his vast wardrobe, and his shoe shelf - his boyfriend had been the doting type and bought Naruto new outfits and gifts on every occasion. On the wall there were three mirrors pinned, and Naruto looked fondly at how he could make nine of himself appear with just the right angle. The rest of the room was taken up by a bed and a bed table. The bed was a flat futon, and the bed table had a picture frame, a lamp and an alarm clock on it. Two drawers were in the bed table and one of which contained Naruto's jewellery and the other which contained a photo album.

Letting out a sigh of sorrow, Naruto fell forward onto his futon, hugging the pillow tightly and wishing desperately he could go home.

Deidara watched his brother for a few moments before moving on to his own room. Deidara had been giving a large walk-in wardrobe, and he smirked at seeing his outfits in there, along with his shoes and two chest of drawers, both already filled with his cosmetics, perfume and whatever else he used to make himself look good. Pictures of his friends already coated one wall, and Deidara had to wonder just how much his parents had paid the movers so they would do that. His sound system was all set up, and Deidara stroked his speakers fondly, and nodded at seeing all his music was there. His futon was on the floor, and just like Naruto, Deidara sat on it and gave out a heavy sigh.

Suddenly, both boys were startled out of their angsting to a sudden yelp. "Oh wow! Minato, Naru, Dei! Come look at this! Oh gosh, I knew we had moved to the right area!" Their mother was squawking.

Both boys made their way downstairs and found their mother fussing over a letter, they watched as she read it, her green eyes glittering with excitement.

"What is it?" Deidara asked, his eyebrows raised in a way that implied only slight curiosity.

"A welcome pack!" Kushina squealed, her nails clawing at the paper.

Deidara sneered, "Well in that case, why don't Naruto and I go and greet them?" Before his parents could comment, he grabbed Naruto and dragged him out of the house. They wandered around for a little while, despite it getting dark, they were savouring the fresh air and a chance to survey their new surroundings. Neither boys were keen on the nice look of the place, it just didn't seem normal, Deidara was secretly betting the locals were a group of conspiratorial murderers who raped little kids in their basements.

As they walked down an alley, Naruto trailing after his brother and Deidara holding onto Naruto's hand, Naruto came to a sudden stop. "What is it?" Deidara asked, glancing back at his brother with blue eyes.

"No way..." Naruto whispered, his eyes concentrated on something behind him in the dark. Deidara looked over his brother's head and tried to catch a glimpse of the thing in the dark.

"What?" He asked, growing impatient.

"A chicken."

"Huh?" Deidara asked, ever so eloquently.

"A chicken! Look!" The younger blonde said, pointing at the bird shaped figure.

"You are fucking kidding me..." Deidara murmured, finally seeing the farm animal. "Fuck. We're in the fucking country." Deidara growled, practically dragging their brother back to the house. "YOU SHITHEADS!" Deidara screamed upon entering the house, "You brought us to the fucking country!"

"We most certainly did not!" Kushina replied, looking horrified at her son.

"Then why did I just see a chicken?" Deidara asked, his voice low and impatient.

"Ooh! Where?" Kushina squealed, but without waiting for an answer she rushed out the house, keen on seeing the bird by herself.

"If it's any consolation, the garden leads into a local park for residents. And you can get to the roof easily, I know you two like high up places." Minato offered, before hurrying after his wife and leaving the boys to their befuddlement.

With a scream of frustration Deidara collapsed onto the couch. "This is going to be a fucking nightmare..." He muttered, recieving a nod of agreement from his brother.

And indeed, it was.

* * *

June: Sadly enough, the welcome and the chicken happened to me. It left me longing for the city T_T Any guesses as to who Naru-chan's boyfriend is? Next chapter will be the first day of school, so that will be fun.

Reviews are appreciated~


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